I was thinking about like, starting a cult. This cult would be special in that, it's not like a bad cult like the ones you always hear about. It's, like, super awesome. I don't really know much about running a cult, but I am the boss. We would have a lot of fun and not die like they do in other cults. I mean eventually, we would die, like normal humans. I'm not promising you immortality. Or anything for that matter. Except that this is the best freaking cult you could possibly be in. OK, you wanted to join my cult already?
I'll have to think about it. 

CULT OF THE ZYPHRALITH CULT MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION FORM: (For filling out. Obviously.)
NAME:
PREFERRED CULT TITLE:
HOW BADASS ARE YOU?
Freeform:
Apocalypse Strategy:
Favorite Food:
Do Not Fill Out This Line:
Are You Gonna Take That Shit? (Yes / No)
Fill Out This Line:
Favorite Animal:
Mailing Address (For your CULT MEMBERSHIP items):
FAVORITE MOVIE STAR:
Are you Fluent in 7-9 Languages?
                    : Yes, but only on Saturday.
Are you OK with the occasional, small-scale blood sacrifice? (Non-lethal)
HOW ANNOYING ARE YOU 1-10?
And why is this in blue and not a question.
You may email me your form. @protonmail.com
(If you can't figure it out you're not in the cult.)